Law360 Canada (June 8, 2026, 11:24 AM EDT) --

Murray Gottheil

My good friend Felicity had a problem. Her relatives were making comments about how she takes care of her elderly father, who I will call Allan. She gave me the example of an aunt who asked, “Why is Allan still driving?” and expressed her opinion that Allan is too old and ill to be driving. She said it in a way that implied it was Felicity’s fault.

Of course, the aunt is right, and Felicity already knows that. Allan should not be driving anymore, but he has a licence, he wants to drive, and he does not ask Felicity for permission or accept instructions from her.

Felicity is rightfully annoyed that her relatives ask questions and express their opinions, seemingly for no reason other than to be disagreeable and make her feel guilty.

So, Felicity asked me for help. She did not ask me to speak to Allan about not driving or request that I speak to her big-mouth aunt about minding her own business. No, she asked me to help by doing what I am apparently well-known for — providing snappy answers to stupid questions that she can use.

So, I gave Felicity the following suggestions:

1. You are right. Allan should not be driving. We are asking the family to drive him where he must go. What day of the week works for you to take your turn?
2. You are right. Allan should not be driving. We are putting together a fund for Allan to take taxis. Can I put you down for $1,000 per month?
3. You are right. Allan should not be driving. I have told him so many times, but he will not listen to me. Since you are so interested and have such a strong opinion, perhaps you could call him and tell him he cannot drive anymore. Please call him this week since I am worried about him. Let me know how your call goes.
4. Why don’t you mind your own business, you old bat?

I am sure at least one of these is bound to work for Felicity.

As much as I was happy to help Felicity by using my talent for wordsmithery developed over many years in the legal profession, the fact that she reached out to me did get me thinking about why I was Felicity’s first choice for dealing with her problem. Is it because my legal training helps me get right to the heart of the matter? Is it because as a lawyer you learn to listen, understand and quickly respond? Or does it have nothing to do with my having practised law and everything to do with me being a jerk?

I really don’t know, but I was nonetheless proud to be asked. Now, if only my advice was billable.

Murray Gottheil is a retired lawyer living in the country, happy and driving a pickup truck. Reach him at murray@murraygottheil.com and see what he is up to at www.lawanddisorderinc.com.

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