Law360 Canada (September 18, 2026, 1:04 PM EDT) --
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| Marcel Strigberger |
And the Oscar goes to…?
I just saw a movie about the law rivalling classics such as
Witness for the Prosecution,
12 Angry Men and
To Kill a Mockingbird. Rotten Tomatoes gives it a rating score of 95 per cent. It’s all the rage now. Get your popcorn out. I’m talking about
Coyote vs. Acme. Beep beep! [Note: Spoilers ahead!]
As you all know, unless you have been living in a cave all these years, cartoon character Wile E. Coyote has spent all his energy and time trying to catch that speedy bird, Road Runner. To assist in his quest, Coyote has enlisted the help of Acme Corporation, which supplies gadgets and devices to destroy the purchaser’s prey.
Unfortunately for Coyote, these gadgets always backfired. Failures include dehydrated boulders that end up bombarding Coyote, explosive devices where instead of the bomb going off, the detonator explodes in Coyote’s face, etc., etc.…
Coyote sees a television ad about a lawyer in Albuquerque, New Mexico, called Kevin Avery, who specializes in representing victims of cartoon violence. Enough is enough. Or as Popeye used to say, “Enough is enough, and enough is too much!”
Coyote shows up unannounced at Avery’s office. Actually, for many years I practised out of an old heritage house office in Thornhill, north of Toronto, and I often had surprise walk-ins. None were coyotes. But I digress.
The problem is Avery is a down-on-his-luck lawyer who just wants to settle all his cases and certainly does not want to risk going to trial against the giant corporation Acme. He suggests to Coyote that he can probably get him a few hundred dollars for his case.
As I said, Avery is hardly a barracuda. What’s, say, $500 for a coyote who has an Acme piano designed to cream Road Runner have a mind of its own and pummel its owner flying off a high-rise and landing on Coyote’s head?
Avery takes on the case suing Acme. A settlement meeting takes place in the office boardroom of Acme’s big law lawyer, one Buddy Crane. Crane is a huge-stature, smug, arrogant piece of work. I practised personal injury law for over 40 years, and I must admit he would psych me out. If I saw him on the first day of a trial, I would have been very tempted to request an adjournment. I believe a valid ground for adjourning a case is the opposing lawyer suddenly turning chicken. Yes.
Interestingly, Crane offers to settle the claim for US$50,000. That’s about $70,000 of our loonies. That’s not chicken scratch. After all, what’s the big deal of a grand piano landing on your head?
Avery instantly asks Coyote to sign the minutes of settlement. But Coyote rejects the offer. He wants a trial. Ugh! Avery’s trial experience is virginal.
Pushed on by Coyote and Avery’s encouraging staff, he puts on his trial armour and goes to court. Unfortunately, due to a lack of cogent evidence, the judge agrees to Crane’s request for a non-suit and dismisses the action. Every lawyer’s nightmare.
However, the clouds soon lift. A whistleblower, namely Bugs Bunny, divulges to Avery that Acme was involved in some nefarious plot known as Project Sisyphus. This endeavour is a product-testing program formerly headed by a Dr. Lorre, using cartoon violence to improve Acme’s products for humans.
Quite frankly, I, for one, don’t get it. Why would humans want improved Acme products? I doubt even organized criminals would equip their hitmen with them. I don’t see Don Corleone saying to Luca Brasi (as he then was), “Hey Luca, Frankie the Weasel is expected at the corner of 44th and 7th at noon. Hey, go up on the roof. And use this Acme piano.” Who knows?
The matter then goes before a congressional commission hearing chaired by Senator Elmer Fudd. You heard right.
The commission holds off on further action as apparently there is only one plaintiff.
However, the news gets out about Avery having the guts to go the distance, and in the end his office is inundated with more cartoon characters seeking justice. Acme is publicly humiliated. Determination wins. David beats Goliath.
There is more I can say about the movie. But this missive is not intended as a movie review. I shall say that
Coyote vs. Acme is nothing like
Witness for the Prosecution,
12 Angry Men or
To Kill a Mockingbird.
At least right prevails.
Marcel Strigberger retired from his Greater Toronto Area litigation practice and continues the more serious business of humorous author and speaker. His book Boomers, Zoomers, and Other Oomers: A Boomer-biased Irreverent Perspective on Aging is available on Amazon (e-book) and in paper version. His new(!) book First, Let’s Kill the Lawyer Jokes: An Attorney’s Irreverent Serious Look at the Legal Universe is available on Amazon, Apple and other book places. Visit www.marcelshumour.com. Follow him on X: @MarcelsHumour.
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