Pet project: What to do about furry friends in family court

Law360 Canada (January 30, 2026, 2:31 PM EST) --

Marcel Strigberger

Pets. Are the courts in a divorce action where both parties seek custody to treat them like children or property? The law in this area is all over the zoo. An Alberta judge, Douglas Mah, recently held in a case dealing with four cats that pets are to be treated like property, not kids. Full stop. However, next door in B.C., the Family Law Act considers pets as family members, and the courts must determine who would best care for the pet. Given that there are polar opposite schools of thought, I believe it would be beneficial to weigh in on the subject with some useful suggestions before the kitty litter hits the fan. I have three proposals:

1. Divorce be damned

The first relates to the source of the problem. Marriage. Pet custody disputes arise as spouses with pets separate. My proposed solution is banning divorces. If you have any pets and cannot agree on who gets custody of Felix, no divorce for you. The applicable provision in the Divorce Act might read something like,
And what would be the solution if the parties were living in a common law relationship? No problem. They would now be deemed to be married. The moment one party initiated a claim for pet custody, the court would arrange for an official to visit the feuding parties and marry the couple. The officer might be a member of a variety of vocations including but not limited to a minister, a rabbi or a manager at PetSmart. This would work, guaranteed.

 2. Personification

This one is simple. Just consider all pets persons. After all, a century-plus ago, the iconic British case of Salomon v. Salomon established that a corporation is a person, an entity separate from its principles. I still cannot rationalize this House of Lords decision. I think of a comment by the 18th-century Lord Chancellor, Edward Thurlow, 1st Baron Thurlow, who said, “Did you ever expect a corporation to have a conscience when it has no soul to damn and nobody to kick?”

I have more respect for pets. I never arrived at my office only to be passionately greeted by one of my client’s corporate minute books. Yes. Personifying pets would also give the public a more favourable view of the justice system, maybe even reversing the opinion of those who assert that the law is an ass.

3. Compromise — equality is equity

Speaking of Salomon, I think of King Solomon. When those two mothers came before His Majesty for a ruling as each one claimed to be the mom of that newly born baby, he ordered that the infant be cut in two with each lady getting half thereof. While the non-mother was fine with this arrangement, the real mom conceded the kid to the faker. And of course, the wise king sent the bogus mom packing, giving the baby to the real McCoy.

As an aside, I researched this story further and found out that the boy’s name was Isaac. He became a celebrity of sorts in the Jerusalem area, with tourists visiting him at his home, which was known as Little Isaac’s Museum. All went well for him other than the fact that he developed a neurosis, being unable to eat sliced bread. Nasty! (I did say this information was as an aside.)

So, what to do with those pets. Offer to cut them in two? As the cartoon character Snagglepuss might say, “Heavens to Murgatroyd, no way.” I suggest shared custody with a twist. Since cats have nine lives, they can spend alternate lives with each spouse. As for the ninth year, hopefully they can come to a resolution. Otherwise, we have a dog’s breakfast.

With respect to our canine friends, I did some research and scribbled down some suggestions, which unfortunately disappeared. But I have a good excuse. My dog ate my homework. Whoof!
              
Marcel Strigberger retired from his Greater Toronto Area litigation practice and continues the more serious business of humorous author and speaker. His book, Boomers, Zoomers, and Other Oomers: A Boomer-biased Irreverent Perspective on Aging, is available on Amazon (e-book) and in paper version. His new(!) book First, Let’s Kill the Lawyer Jokes: An Attorney’s Irreverent Serious Look at the Legal Universe is available on Amazon, Apple and other book places. Visit www.marcelshumour.com. Follow him on X @MarcelsHumour.

The opinions expressed are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the author’s firm, its clients, Law360 Canada, LexisNexis Canada or any of its or their respective affiliates. This article is for general information purposes and is not intended to be and should not be taken as legal advice.

Interested in writing for us? To learn more about how you can add your voice to Law360 Canada, contact Analysis Editor Peter Carter at peter.carter@lexisnexis.ca or call 647-776-6740.