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| Norm Bowley |
In the autumn of 1976 I entered law school, frankly terrified. I had never been surrounded by so many bright people. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t make it, but to my pleasant surprise, I did! After articling and completing the bar admission, I was called to the bar of Ontario in 1981, precisely in the middle of the most ghastly recession since the ’30s. The first five years were, frankly, economically brutal, probably not the best time to start a young family. But we did.
It’s impossible not to speculate where I’d be today if I had not made the jump. If, for example, I had given all my law school costs to a decent investment advisor 45 years ago, what would that fund be worth today? (The answer is several million dollars.)
And if I had stayed with teaching, even in the classroom, I would have retired at age 49 with a fully indexed pension and gold-plated medical benefits. As it turned out, I retired from law at 70, a full 21 years later, with less savings and no pension. And no medical plan. Not complaining, just saying. But there are consequences of choices made.
I was a good lawyer and over the years acquired many satisfied clients who I served well. But looking back over life, I had been a better and happier educator than I was a barrister and solicitor. In both, my giftings were in analysis and communication, although it took me a lifetime to realize that.
In retrospect, the most important thing I lacked 50 years ago was a good mentor, someone to help me work through the big issues of life and make wise choices. In these matters I was entirely on my own, at liberty to make the right choices after first trying all the wrong ones.
My dear dad was a clever enough man, but had left school in Depression days long before graduation, and felt he was not qualified to speak to his son about matters of education and career. Similarly, my wonderful father-in-law was a wise man, a highly successful entrepreneur, but similarly saw my academics and professional career as foreign territory. Even dear old Roy, my mentor as a teacher, was reluctant to lay out the cards for me.
I regret deeply not taking matters into my own hands and seeking out the advice of those wiser and more experienced. In the early days of lawyering, I could and should have been much more purposeful in seeking out mentoring, but, “who knew”?
The second thing I regret is charging ahead into both professions without taking the time to understand the true lay of the land. What’s really going on, how do things really work, what does success look like, really, at the end of the day? Forget the Hollywood stereotypes. What do the stalwarts and the greats of the professions all share in common, and how does one develop those characteristics? If one doesn’t know the underlying principles, how can one position and train oneself for success?
The problem for me, and probably for you, was the “forest for the trees” thing. You’re so busy just getting work done, attending professional education, doing your bit for your association, being a friend to your friends and, mostly, living life trying to be a good spouse, parent and provider. Unless you are really purposeful about it, you don’t really see career development as job one, and even if you do, it’s truly difficult to find the time and energy. Unless, of course, you have someone to whom you are accountable.
The third thing I regret is that I did not understand the principle of giftings. Like most of us, I just took for granted that the things I did very well were commonplace. A combination of false modesty and “busyness” blinded me to the fact there were a handful of things I did better, sometimes much better, than those around me. At the same time, there were a bunch of things that were much better left to others, but I nevertheless ground my way through these with a false sense of duty and obligation. Time wasted on inefficiencies (or anything) is never regained.
What I’ve finally learned is that if you continually lead with your giftings, several things will happen. First, you’ll much more enjoy what you do. Second, you’ll fairly quickly be seen as the expert, the “go to” person, and your reputation will grow with no effort. Third, your career will take care of itself, because the system will turn to you because it needs you because “you’re the guy”. Fourth, by and large the money will take care of itself if your career takes care of itself. Fifth, when you’re living and working in your giftings, you experience far less stress, confrontation, disappointment and financial loss. What’s not to like?
Can I get into a time machine and go back 50 years? Would I? No, that’s not how life works. And I wouldn't change my marriage, my kids, or my friends even one bit.
But what I can do is share what I’ve learned, mostly the hard way, by coaching and writing and speaking, all of those of course exactly within the gifitngs I should have been using all the time since the beginning!
Norm Bowley practised law in Ottawa for 37 years. Before retiring, his practice focused on high-net-worth individuals and families, particularly entrepreneurs and professionals. In “retirement,” Norm writes extensively, speaks, coaches and consults, and if there’s any spare time, maintains a bit of acreage on the Tay River. His upcoming book, The Lawyer and the Dropouts: Stunning insights about professional success and happiness, is expected later in 2026.
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